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True Wisdom

December 7, 2009 missincognegro 2 comments

“I wish there were no skin color, and that we could be judged by our hearts and souls.” Said by a Black female student, Grade 10, from California, at the Denver PoCC, Saturday 12/5/09.

I am the proud new owner…

December 7, 2009 missincognegro 2 comments

of an Apple iPhone 3G. It happened on Dec. 1st. Loving it!

Categories: My Favorite Things Tags:

PoCC 2009: Denver, Colorado

December 7, 2009 missincognegro Leave a comment

I just returned from my fifth NAIS PoCC (National Association of Independent Schools People of Color Conference). For those who are interested, go here to learn more about the mission and purpose of the PoCC.

Denver was inspirational, yet sobering; painful, yet hopeful. A former grad. school prof and dear friend once told me when I was debating a return to independent schools, she said, “Students of color need you, but, you only do the work if you want to.” I have never forgotten these words, and, my presence at this year’s PoCC allowed me to not only clarify my own purpose in independent schools, but also to commit to some things. They are:

1. To listen to my White colleagues – with my heart, head and ears. Given my high degree of passion, I tend to alienate rather than to communicate. However, I realize that in most cases, all I can do is to listen. I cannot and will not do “the work” of anti-racist education for them.

2. In the stories of the Black female students, I heard frustration and pain, but also hope and perseverance. I also saw some of myself in their stories: as a teenager, mostly. But, I also continue to strive to be the Black woman I choose to be, even at 44 years of age.

I think that we as People of Color devote a large part of our lives, starting at a young age, expending emotional, mental and physical energy gaining acceptance and fitting in amongst our own, and amongst Whites. The fact of the matter is, Whites don’t have to live a dual existence, or experience the toll it can take on mind, body and soul. Therefore, I would like, with the help of another woman of color, create a place and a space for the young Women of Color at my place of employ. I am sure that there will be some degree of consternation expressed by my White colleagues on this, but, so be it. Perhaps if young WOC have such a place and a space, it would allow them to exhale, rather than choke.

So, I am committing anew, and I am excited.

I am *THIS CLOSE*…

November 29, 2009 missincognegro 7 comments

to purchasing an iPhone.

Roll call: Tell me what you like/dislike about being an iPhone owner/user:

~Pros?
~Cons?

I”m already a Mac girl. So, I”ll have easy integration with the platform.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: ,

The 45 Lessons Life Taught Me

November 29, 2009 missincognegro Leave a comment

A dear friend sent this to me. Please share with all you know.

Written By Regina Brett, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio. BTW: Regina is NOT 90 years old. That urban legend was manufactured somehow. Also: There are apparently 50 life lessons, and not 45.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a “gift.”

Its estimated 93% won’t forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title ‘7%’. I’m in the 7%.

Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.

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The Dating Trenches: Being Stood Up

November 28, 2009 missincognegro 6 comments

I was supposed to have a date tonight. But, he stood me up. We’ve all been there at least once.

Only the man in question and God know why he did what he did. And, perhaps the man in question has a good reason.

Let’s see if the man in question calls. If he does, I will be mad impressed.

I do, however, believe that things happen for good, and, perhaps it’s God’s way of telling me that this man isn’t for me. It’s His loving protection.

In the meantime, I am reminded of how truly blessed I am, and, I get to watch the Notre Dame/Stanford football game. :)

Categories: My Inner World Tags: ,

What did it take?

November 24, 2009 missincognegro Leave a comment

I had an epiphany while having dinner with the college friend and classmate I hadn’t seen in over five years:

It took seven months in a bad relationship, and seven months of weekly therapy, concurrent with the bad relationship, for me to gain true insight into who I am and what I want from life. I also learned that I really do like myself.

It occurred to me one morning…

November 24, 2009 missincognegro 2 comments

as I was getting out of the shower: I’ve been fired from three of the four teaching jobs I’ve held. Well, actually two; my position was reduced to part-time during a downturn at my previous place of employ. But, given the tenor there, I may as well have been fired.

Categories: My Inner World Tags: ,

The Dating Trenches: For Better or for Worse?

November 24, 2009 missincognegro 2 comments

I’m dating online. Not sure if it’s for better or for worse. It’s actually my second tour of duty. It’s an interracial dating site. My goal is to be off the site in six months, which by my math is March 2010.

Anyway, here are some recent highlights:

1. One man asked if I wanted a face pic, or a pic of his manhood.
2. Another man told me that he wasn’t ready/good for me. Usually when a man extolls such pearls, he’s right. BELIEVE HIM.
3. Still another, after two weeks of hot and heavy emailing and phoning, all initiated by him, has vanished into a dark hole. He got sick, then tried to apologize for not being in contact by leaving a rap apology on my voicemail, and then…nothing…for almost two weeks. Perhaps he died of pneumonia. More likely, reality set in, things had gotten too intense, and he backed off. He’s 54, divorced, with four kids. Do I really need that?
4. Last, and my favorite one of all: The man from London who wants to call me for phone sex. ::Sigh::

Despite the aforementioned, I have communicated with some potential keepers. We’ll see.

An Exercise in Futility…

November 24, 2009 missincognegro Leave a comment

end-of-trimester grades and comments, that is.

Sometimes, I wonder what it’s all for…